When I was eleven, we moved to Plant City, Florida. 

I remember feeling a deep love for God, and so close to Him, in fact, that I would often talk with God, as though He was there beside me, at night while lying in bed. 

God was real to me and His presence was loving, and it was, for a while, a very peaceful time in my life.

Then, all of a sudden, I started feeling these overwhelming urges again to repent, accompanied by non-sensical and confusing thoughts, like "noise" or chatter full of constant accusations.

The thoughts seemed hard to express in words, but the feeling I felt by them was great fear, guilt and anxiety.  

I knew it was crazy, and I was embarrassed to tell anyone.