I had been in therapy for several years before this occurred, but I never focused in sessions, on the obsessive compulsive thoughts and urges to repent. 

I think I was embarrassed and didn't want to admit the insanity of it.    My mania, however, was obvious and incapable of disguise.

Amidst the grief and the loss of my record deal, I kept writing and believing that I was on the right path somehow for my life.  but I also felt I need something more,  to create something BIGGER than myself.

In 1997,  I changed my name to, Constant Change