It's been 15 years since the previous page, and I'm still living in Pensacola. 

I am just now, in 2020, coming to deal with the obsessive compulsive thoughts and  accusations that frequently try to cloud my mind.
I can't believe it's taken me so long to find the courage to deal with this issue, but it has.  There are medicines that I am looking into taking, and will be able to report later as to their impact.   

All these years, I have been writing and recording privately in my studio.  I have, however, abandoned the music industry, or they have abandoned me.  I think it has been actually a little of both.   

My heart is sometimes broken, as I reflect on my life, then, at other times, I feel it swell up with pride at my accomplishments.

I'm not sure how to look at the past, perhaps with two pairs of glasses...

The first pair would reveal a "me" starting over, without the mental issues and the spiritual conflicts. 
I would be someone less challenging to be around, steady in my moods and behavior,  and someone far more sensible around those precious folks, gifted and called to help me.  I would have clarity of mind and spiritual direction.

The second pair of glasses would reveal a "me" looking on the past simply, the way it is, and the way it was.  

I am a success and a failure.  I have made it, and I have blown it. 

I hope to be passionate again to do great and challenging things.  Right now, I don't have goals.   I am happy with peace.